


MST3K: The Weirdness

by Another_Doe_in_a_yellow_jumpsuit



Category: MST3K, Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, B-Movies, Bad Jokes, Dark Character, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Experimentation, Feel-good, Fluff, Help, Isolation, Jonah is a soft boi, Kinga is a little more sadistic, MST3k-Style Riffing, Non-Graphic Violence, Optimism, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Rollercoaster of Emotions, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, invention exchanges, secrets off camera
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 11:25:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17507696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Another_Doe_in_a_yellow_jumpsuit/pseuds/Another_Doe_in_a_yellow_jumpsuit
Summary: A series I started trying to add a little depth to the show. I love the format with no real storyline, but this takes things a little deeper behind the scenes. Work in progress, 6 chapters so far.Follows the main story mostly, with some non con and behind the scenes extras.





	1. Moon 13

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one is just set up.  
> Chapter two is where things start getting interesting, setting up chap 3 and 4 for.... a n g s t  
> Starting in Chapter 4 onward, there are full on invention exchanges and Chapter 5 is a full movie riffing. Will update if anyone checks this out.  
> Also, all my italicized stuff disappeared when I moved this over, so... there will be some updates fixing that. It really helps.

It's almost a normal day for Jonah Heston... fuck it, it's a GREAT day. He was on his way back to Gizmonics Institute on Earth with the biggest meteor score they had ever seen.  
The hard work behind him, Jonah's mind could only focus on the bonus he would get from this, the praise...  
"Maybe they'll name a building after me" he thought to himself.  
Sitting alone in his cruddy little ship, dressed in his familiar yellow jumpsuit and dirty sneakers, he realized he really needed something to pass the time and focus his nervous energy. His mind wandered to his recent thesis on "Percussion Enabled Power Sources" and his eyes settled on the the full set on drums and percussion-like instruments behind him. Normally he wouldn't fool around with this stuff on an important job but, this was a special occasion.  
He sat down on his makeshift stool, hooking things up, pulling wires, untying knots... and still thinking.  
The daydreaming began as soon as he hit the first beat, the movements coming to him easily. Hands and legs perfectly in sync, despite him clearly having to hunch over a little from his height. This was nothing new to him; before starting his work at Gizmonics, he was just a punk kid, playing drums in a nowhere band. Now look at him.  
More money than he knew what to with, shaking hands with the president, cutting the ribbon on "Heston Hall", even taking over the Vice President of Gizmonics spot while he his super hot wife cried in the audience...

"MAYDAY MAYDAY"

He looked around trying to find where the call was coming from and who would possibly be interrupting his coronation as the President of Earth...

"MAYDAY WE NEED YOUR HELP"

Jonah came back to reality, albeit a little late and kind of confused, to hear the distress call coming from his radio.  
○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Down on the dark side of the moon, unbeknownst to pretty much everyone, including Jonah, sat the base known as Moon 13. An experimental lab currently run by Kinga Forrester, a third generation... super villain of sorts. Her mother and her grandfather has passed the.. *family business" down to her. She and her assistant Max, (or TVs Son of TVs Frank as he would like to be called, a second generation henchmen), currently had control of a large source of media, a system developed by Kinga, and a need for a new test subject. Her plan, much like her predecessors, was to experiment on random people, not physically, but mentally by isolating them and then making them watch cheesy, poorly made, mind numbing movies.. and also to gain control of all media.  
Bringing up the ship on the monitor, Kinga was pleased to see the Gizmonics logo, carrying on her family tradition of using their best workers in their experiments.

"MAX!" she let out in a shrill tone, sensing today was her lucky day.  
"This is perfect! Get me this one!" An evil smile crept across her face as she began wringing her hands menacingly. Super villain to the core.

"Ok everyone... go!" Max yelled out to the 3rd rung of henchmen, the "Boneheads" as Kinga called them, a product of a different kind of experient that just sort of became expendable help. They all began putting on a flawless performance of screaming and sounds of panic over the mic. 

"This is a distress call from Moonbase 13, requesting the help of anyone within range". He put his hand over the mic and giggled. This was the first time Max got to take on his father's role and lure a test subject. Hopefully Kinga would be pleased with him. 

Jonah dashed his way over to radio, tripping over some wires and his own big feet, and began flipping switches for a course correction.

"They need my help!" He said outloud to himself, presumably to put the whole situation into perspective to himself. He had this massive cargo load attached to the ship, which he would have to drop in order to help in any way... He weighed his options, deciding on dropping the meteors in favor of being the "good guy".

"I can come back for those later..." he tried to reassure himself. Being President of Earth could wait for now.

Down at Gizmonics control, they were prematurely celebrating the haul, when they caught the notification that their delivery boy was headed off course.

"What is he doing?? We need this, this will be the most money the company has ever seen!"

"It appears that he's... headed for the dark side..of the moon?"

"He knows that's forbidden territory, there's nothing there!"  
"HESTON", his boss slammed her finger on the intercom,  
"TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW" 

Jonah reluctantly hit mute on his comm, focusing everything on the distress signal. Boy, was he going to be in trouble, but a rescue mission would outweigh that, right? Now he'd be the money maker AND a hero. He hit the massive button that would drop his cargo, shook his head, and focused on his new task.  
As he made the swing around to the darker side, a looming structure started coming into view. Rather, one large polyhedral dome and a really weird shaped satellite. It was well lit, but he could see figures in the windows clearly in a panic. 

"Since when is there any sort of structure here?" he muttered to himself.

He navigated his way around the base until he found a tiny pad to land on and immediately went back to the radio.

"Hello? HELLO?" Silence.  
"What the heck..." He was cut off as his ship, or rather the pad beneath him, was very shakily pulled below the surface, all of the sound and movement stopped, and he started to think twice about things. 

The door of his ship opened suddenly and without any command from him and a few Boneheads rushed in to grab him. Too confused to grasp what had just happened, Jonah walked out with them, showing no resistance.  
All around him was very industrial, flashing lights, monitors, multi-colored liquid filled tanks, and... singing.  
What exactly had he walked into?  
He stumbled forward to wherever they were leading him, trying to soak in every inch of the strange environment. Suddenly two massive doors slid open in front of him and the Boneheads gripped him tighter as Kinga Forrester was pushed into view on a massive staircase setpiece.

"Did I... hit my head? Or fall asleep on the way back? This is too surreal" He tried to think back on the day and how he had gone from drumming his way back to Earth, to being forcefully dragged into a nonsensical musical. 

She started singing about "cheesy movies" and "monitoring his mind".  
.  
"Doing what...?" He was slowly started to think he was the one about to need help in this situation. But who would come for him... 

"Um.. EXCUSE ME?" he tried to get out over all of the noise, but Kinga just glared in his general direction and instructed Max to flip "THE Switch".  
Before he had a split second to respond, a giant black hose-like tube descended from the ceiling and shot him straight up, yelling the whole way.  
It dropped him in a completely different looking place; much smaller, much quiet--

"HEY ITS A NEW GUY!"

Still shaken up, Jonah got to his feet to see a gold colored robot running toward him.

"Guess you fell for it too, huh? Man you are like 10 feet tall and weird. I miss Joel even more now. Why are you so much hairier than him? Oh and yellow is not your color"

"JOEL?" like... THE Joel Robinson?  
"Okay, WHAT is happening?!" Jonah finally choked out.  
"What.. what is this place and how and why and... what"

"Welcome to the Satellite of Looooove" another voice came from his left.

He was looking at another robot, a red colored... gumball machine? Maybe? He just stared and blinked stupidly a few times. He had obviously seen plenty of robots in his life, but sometjing about these two seemed.. off. Programmed a little too well maybe?

"Crow, you're like this every time we get a new guy." He turned to look at Jonah. Look? He didn't have eyes... wait wait wait, this was his biggest concern right now?

"I'm Tom Servo and we're about to be your new best friends, buddy".

"This explains nothing" Jonah quipped miserably. 

"What do you mean the new guy? How many other people are here? Or what uh, exactly happened to them? Or wait, I'M SORRY, how did I get in here and why am I being called an EXPERIMENT?!?"

"Woah, slow down there Sasquatch" Crow chirped in behind him.

"Yeah, with that attitude, you're not going to have a very good time here". Tom sounded more like he knew what he was talking about, so Jonah directed his questions toward him.

"Ok, so..." he took a deep breath.  
"Are there other people here? Like me? Like, normal--"

"Hey, you watch your mouth Mister! Just because you're all squishy and fleshy doesn't mean you get to be the normal guy! I don't think I like him already" Crow said directly in Tom's direction, completely ignoring Jonah's changing facial expressions.

"Well the only other humans around," Tom started, ignoring Crow for the moment, "Are Kinga and Max. I believe you've met them already."

"Yeah, yeah.. the crazy singing lady who looked like she could murder me with her thoughts and her stupid sidekick that lured me here."

"Correct!" Crow yelled out behind him.  
"Ok, so he's ugly, but at least he sounds kind of smart."

Jonah turned in his direction to give him an angry brow before continuing his questions.

"So... how did you guys get here? Are you planning on torturing me too? Cause if you're gonna probe me, please get it over with", he sighed jokingly. He hoped it was a joke anyway.

"Aw, sick!" Crow looked quite disgusted.

"No, I'm pretty sure neither of us wants to do that"

Jonah let out a too audible sigh of relief.

"Joel built us while he was here and like I said, you're probably gonna want to keep us around."

"All hail Joel, The Creator! I mean, he was just another human subject, but he was MUCH cooler than you".

Jonah didn't listen to Crow's taunting this time as his mind honed in on the name "Joel".  
"You guys aren't talking about Joel Robinson are you? Because, everyone heard stories about him at Gizmonics. We thought he dissapeared. You guys have seen him??"

"Sheesh, this guy never listens. We didn't just see him, he built us.. and he was here for years until he escaped back to Earth! Would have been nice to go with him..." Crow grumbled, trailing off.

"Yeah, there have been more guys like you here since then, they bring 'em in all the time", Tom said casually.

"And... do what exactly?" Jonah asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Well first, they'll roll you in honey and then throw you in a pit of ravenous badgers! And then they'll dress you up like a pinata and let us hit you for fun! OOH AND THEN--"

Tom abruptly cut him off.  
"Basically, they'll isolate you, strip you of your freedom, force you to watch terrible, brain rotting sci fi movies, and keep track of how long it takes you to lose your sanity."

"Neat." said Jonah miserably. 

"So how did Joel get out?"

"He helped him", said Tom. "He seemed pretty sane when he left, also, we liked him more", he added, sensing that Jonah was about to ask for the same. "Don't worry, we make good company".

"So do you guys like, watch with me at least?"

"Well duh, we don't have brains to rot! We just make fun of the movies and eat popcorn" Crow smirked.

"Yeah, you might as well get used to it. You belong to them now".

"Great." said Jonah bluntly. 

"We'll show you where you sleep, you're probably going to want to savor that while you can" Tom said, pointing him in the direction of a large set of doors.

"Yeah but don't ask where you eat or why they let you keep breathing, just relax"

They lead Jonah through a couple sets of doors before down a ladder and into a tiny, little bunk-like room.

"Cozy..." he said, at least happy that there was a real bed.

"Well, we'll leave you for now I guess. Welcome, new guy!" Tom said as he turned and left.

"Yeah, we'll see you in the morning new guy!" Crow turned to follow before poking his head back into the room,  
"And keep that suit on! There's no pajamas, but no one wants to see that!" and then he too was gone.

"My name is Jonah" he tried to yell out after them, but he could already hear the doors closing and then he was alone.  
He hung his legs down over the side of the bed and kicked his sneakers off, before flopping backwards onto it. He rubbed his face in exasperation, knocking his glasses off in the process. He huffed and tried to refocus them; as he did, he realized that there were several cameras in the room and what looked like an intercom.  
"I am a test subject" he sighed before rolling over and letting exhaustion take him. His mind still racing, but there was nothing he could do right now. He was sure there would be more answers tomorrow, whether he wanted them or not.  
○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●


	2. The Control Months, PT 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah finds out what goes on off camera. Two months of time before the first movie and the "control" period.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst starts off slow, soft boi starts getting hurt. Physical violence doesn't build up, it will mostly be emotional. Cry for him.

Jonah was having the best dream. It wasn't unusually special or amazing or fantastical, but it was doing good things for his mind.  
He was having a great day at work and his coworkers were all being unusually nice to him. His superiors were letting him work on a new invention of his, The Exhaust Griller. Having gotten very far with his last major invention and subject of his thesis "Percussion Enabled Power Sources", he had been given a spot as a head inventor, one of his dream jobs. Everything was comin up Jonah. 

"So we're here today to discuss the future of travel", he began, standing on a small stage in a room full of scientist-looking people.  
"Let me ask you this. How many times have you been stuck on a long, boring space flight and everyone refuses to pull over for food. They didn't even pack sandwiches! And boy are you hungry!"

A few murmurs were heard from the crowd, as they considered whether or not to take him seriously, but let him continue uniterruppted.

"I get it. We've all been there. But what if you could eat a gourmet meal AND reduce travel costs."  
"Well that's where this", he grunted as he grabbed a large metal object from the side of the stage. It looked like a waffle iron, about the size of a tire, and clearly a little heavier... "comes in to solve all of your problems".

"This baby is the Exhaust Griller" he said confidently, slapping the cold metal (maybe a little too hard as it stung his hand).  
"I propose", he went on waving his hand next to the object to cool down the sting, "that in the not too distant future, Gizmonics will fully upgrade all of their vehicles to organic fuel. Why haven't we done this yet you ask? Too many complications... until now".

The rumbling in the room became a little louder as the crowd was more intrigued by the fuel options than being fed. 

"So what happens here, is you connect this to an exhaust port and the excess oil and gases combine in the chamber, making it possible to cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner in minutes!" He looked absolutely delighted with himself and with full confidence he finished off, "And the best part is, all of the oil is recycled and refined in a built in system that then carries it back and becomes more fuel. So now, you can stop less for food and fuel!"  
He raised his hands in the air on the last word, as if in great triumph, with a big, goofy smile on his face. 

The room of suits and lab coats was silent for a minute until one man stepped forward and asked for a demonstration.

"Gladly" Jonah outright glowed at the opportunity to show this off. He had been working on it for months to make sure nothing could go wrong.  
But this was Jonah Heston.  
He began filling the object will some oils from a large jug, as well as an entire raw chicken, some potatoes, some seasonings; before sealing the griller shut. It started with a low humming, the sounds of boiling and hot oil splashing around (contained, thankfully) could soon also be heard. Within a minute or two, the entire room started to smell like a delicious, roasted chicken dinner.  
The crowd erupted in applause and he felt like he was on a high and had actually made a major contribution in his life. This could be the biggest thing to ever come from Gizmonics.

"Who's hungry?!" He shouted out, waving a paper plate and some utensils around. A large, buffet style table was pushed out in front of the stage with more plates. People started to eagerly move forward, until the container started hissing. 

"Uh, that's um... Just a little pressure release" Jonah said quickly, "it should uh.. uh be expected when the full system isn't in use."

And then it began to hiss louder. And smoke. Everyone stepped back, eyeing the contraption cautiously, but Jonah was sure he could keep the situation under control.  
...Until the steam blew the lid off. Which set off the smoke alarm... and sprinkler system... and sent a crazed crowd of people running from the room.

"Wait, no!" Jonah tried to cry out, but besides a few backwards glares, everyone was gone.  
He looked down in disbelief, soaking wet, at his failed experiment and burnt chicken. The massive feeling of failure welling up inside him was soon drowned out by the intense beeping of the fire alarm.  
BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Yeah, I hear you!" he called out, throwing his head back to yell directly at the alarms, but just succeeded in almost drowning himself from the sprinklers.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Ugh FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK", he went to kick the Exhaust Griller but missed, slipping on all of the pooling water, and falling right off of the stage.

BEEP BEEP BEEP 

He woke up drenched in sweat to the sound of the same alarm. Completely confused by his surroundings, he shot straight up out of bed, only to bang his head on an overhang.  
The beeping finally stopped and a sickly sweet voice could be heard through the suspected intercom...

"Rise and Shine, Heston. Today we start, the control" Kinga practically hissed at him.  
"Get yourself up and be ready, upstairs, in ten minutes".

He laid back down, rubbing the sore spot on his head, quickly turning into a small lump.  
"Right", he thought to himself. "I'm a prisoner on the moon". How could he possibly have forgotten that. 

He got up begrudgingly, got his shoes back on. and after swaying a little, (how hard did he actually hit his head?) found his way to the bathroom. A few minutes later he had made his way up the ladder and wandered down the hallway back to where he had met the bots yesterday.

"Good morning walking dead! Did you lose a fight with a feral cat?" Crow asked, pointing out all of the places Jonah's hair was still sticking up and messy.

He tried to smooth it down with a huff and mumbled "Morning Crow..." 

After looking around sleepily, he asked "Where's Tom?"

"Oh he's down on the other end of the satellite with Gypsy. They're busy, but I figured I'd spend some time getting to know my new buddy Jojoba."

"Jonah." he sighed.  
"And who's Gypsy?"

"She's another bot up here, I'm sure you'll catch her lying around. So what do you want to do to bond, pal? Throw the old ball around? Go out for ice cream?"

"There's ice cream?" Jonah asked, realizing his stomach was growling.

"No, but I thought it sounded like something you'd like."

Jonah put his head down on the desk in front of him. He was about to retort when he heard the sound of static followed by what was becoming a very familiar voice.  
Kinga and Max were displayed in front of him on a massive screen. He could see the light behind her eyes and her excitement to begin day one. He braced himself for whatever came next.

"Hello" Jonah said to the screen, hoping he could get on their good side by cooperating.

"Hi!" Max waved backed eagerly before Kinga swatted his hand.

"Shut UP MAX." She turned her attention to the screen in front of her.  
"Helloooo Jonah" she cooed, which made him feel more uncomfortable than her nasty voice.  
"I'm sure you have plenty questions.. I'll probably answer some. Maybe. But you have to cooperate and be a good boy for my tests. Clear?"

"Yeah, that's---"

"YOU", she snapped, cutting him off, "will refer to us each as "Sir". Got it?"

"Yes, Sirs..." 

"Good. Now, I'm sure your little robot friends already explained what I intend to do and how the experiment works, correct?"

"Yes, Sirs. Uh... mostly."

"Don't worry, we'll get to that part. For now, get comfy with your surroundings."

Jonah looked at her a little taken back.  
"Just... that easy?"

"Easy??" She laughed.  
"Oh nooo Jonah, no. It's just... you're going to be here for a very... long... time." He flinched as she punctuated each word. 

"Don't worry, we'll get to the fun stuff eventually." Her eyes and smile grew wider.  
"For now, we will start with "the control" This did not sound good.

"I'll just be observing you and your daily routines, doing... whatever it is you.. do. Monitoring your brain activity and moods so that once we start, we'll have something to compare your rapidly deteriorating braincells to."

"Sounds... great....Sirs" He added on quickly.

"Good. So go... do some stuff, I dunno. Pretend we're not even down here".

He made a face as he considered what exactly she thought he was going to do.  
"Okay, but---" he tried to get a question out before Kinga cut him off.

"I'm sure you'll figure out something, you're a smart one. But remember Jonah, I'll be waaaatching youuu". She said as she cackled, pointing two fingers at her own eyes and then towards the screen at him.  
"Buh-bye!" she said with a dainty wave, Max waving more enthusiastically behind her. And then the screen went blank. 

"Boy, she's really committed to this stuff. You should show a little more passion in your life, Jonah. Are you afraid of commitment?"

Jonah just looked at him, his frustration turning into slight amusement. At least if he had to be here alone, he wasn't truly alone.

"Alright Crow, do you wanna uh, show me around? Our evil overlords want me to act normal I guess... so I should at least know about where I'm staying."

"Oh you're gonna love it! Just be careful where you go."

"Any certain things I should avoid then?"

"Well, what doesn't kill ya could still sending you hurdling into the dark, cold abyss of space to float around for all eternity, I always say."

"Let's go find Tom and Gypsy."

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○● 

Crow led him down a hallway off to their left, a small, kind of cramped tunnel-like hall that Jonah had to duck down to fit himself through. Things became increasingly more messy as they went on, lights out here, screws loose there... he made a mental note of all the things he could fix later to pass the time.

"So where exactly are we gooooo-uhhHH--" he was stopped midsentence as he tripped over a large mass of thick tubes and wires, falling flat on his face.  
"This place is going to kill me physically before they do anything to me mentally", he mumbled into the floor, not even bothering to lift his head up. 

"Hey! Who's the new guy?  
He could hear an unfamiliar female voice coming from the room at the end of the hall. Without warning, the wires coiled around him and lifted him to his feet. He blinked stupidly a few times and realized he was standing face to face with a new bot. She looked like just a giant purple, polygonal-shaped head and was attached to the pile of pieces he was standing in.

"Uh, hello?", Jonah stuttered. "Thanks for the lift?"

She laughed, but her voice and sounds weren't as smooth as the other bots, she was sounding a little rusty. Raspy? 

"Well you're quite welcome and I'm Gypsy. Tom and me were just working on some stuff, I control basically the whole satellite, and I don't have arms, so! You can see why I need the help." She said rather cheerfully.

"And Servos can't jump." Tom added in.  
"I can only reach the lowwww stuff, so about ankle height for you, you human Godzilla." 

"Well if you guys wanted, I could help with some of those problems."

"Jonah, these are robot problems. I don't think white guys can jump either and even though you DO have arms, I feel like you'd hurt yourself."

"Crow does have a point. But what did you have in mind, Jonah?" 

"Well, ok so... Tom. You can't reach high places. What if I could program you to hover?" Tom looked rather pleased with this idea (as far as he could tell).

"And Gypsy, I don't know about giving you arms, but what if I could get you up off of the floor? Fix things up a bit... like maybe your voice..?" He said the last part cautiously, not wanting to offend the only... female thing he'd met so far that didn't want to torture him.

"You could do that?" She asked joyfully.

"Yeah, for sure", he said, puffing out his chest confidently. "Back on Earth, I was a really important inventor."

"That's what Joel said, but I heard his bosses didn't like him, so they shot him into space. Althoughhhh, he did make us and I can't think of a better contribution to mankind!"

Jonah rolled his eyes.

"But what about me? Do I get any cool improvements? Like a machine gun mounted on my arm! Or LASER VISION!"

"Crow, you're perfect just the way you are. Let's not... not do those things." Jonah said with a sigh.

"You hear that guys? I'm the perfect one. You're alright in my book, Jonah! Just don't slip up again."

"I won't, don't worry". 

Jonah spent the rest of what he assumed was the afternoon working with the bots. He found some random antigravity pieces and some broken thrusters laying around and soon Tom was able to float.

"This is the best Jonah!" Tom yelled out as he went whizzing by Jonah's ear, causing him to duck rather quickly.

"Yeah, it's gonna make things a lot easier for you. Just be careful and watch where you're going ok?"

"You're not the boss of me, you grounded plebian!" Tom said gleefully as he zipped by again.

"Ok and Gypsy... what if we looped all of your parts through the ceiling instead of the floor? And your voice is a super easy fix, if I could just find the right ram chip..." he said, digging around through the forgotten junk.  
"I already have an idea."

It took hours of work for the 4 of them to fully move Gypsy around. Luckily, he now had two bots that could reach high places and that made things a little easier. He finished off the project by clicking a new chip into Gypsy's voice modulator.  
"Alright, test it out!"

Gypsy let out a little hum, looking extremely happy.  
"Hello, hi..! Oh wow, I sound so different" Her voice came out in a sing-song midwestern accent.

"D-do you like it? Jonah asked nervously.  
"You seem really sweet and well, I always thought Midwestern women had music in their voice."

"La la laaaa. Oh, thank you!"  
One of her appendages squeezed him into a tight hug, knocking his glasses off.

"Fyou'rewelcfome" Jonah barely got out against the tube squeezing his face.

"Oops, sooooooRRYYYY" She picked up his glasses for him.

"So Jonah," Tom said as he put his glasses back and straightened them, "turns out you are good for something. It's only been 2 days and you're already kinda useful."

Jonah smiled. Now that everyone was warming up to him, he felt a lot calmer, probably the best he had been in the last few days.

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○● 

This of course, was not the plan.  
Down on the Moon 13 base, Kinga was randomly skipping through video of some of Jonah's day. Watching him fix the bots, playing around with them, laughing. This was not to be tolerated.

"MAX" she said with a sneer.  
"It seems we need to get started a little sooner. This one is... too optimistic. It's gross."

"But I thought we couldn't tamper during the control period? I mean, he's not necessarily doing anything wrong. It looks like they're having fun." There was a tinge of jealousy in his voice, like the kid stuck in his room watching longingly out the window while his friends played in the street.

"This isn't about FUN , MAX. This is a study. My Father and my Grandma... AND your father", she tossed in, "passed this down to us and I for one will be as ruthless as I have to be to keep the Forrester name known!" 

Max nodded in agreement, afraid to argue with her mostly. He was just there to help carry out whatever plans she told him to.  
"So... what did you want to do?"

"Oh, Max... we're going to show little Jonah here what happens when you try to be a goodie two-shoes on MY satellite! I have a few plans, don't you worry", she said, her words practically dripping with acid.  
"In the meantime, why don't you bring our little test subject some dinner? Wouldn't want him to starve before we even get to the good stuff..." she giggled and her coat swirled behind her as she marched off. 

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

Max looked blankly at the large, locked door in front of him, his eyes trailing down to the flap at the bottom. Just a small, one way swinging opening, like the creature inside was a dog. Only, Jonah was a human; just like he was. Sometimes he wondered about his life, but for now, he rolled his eyes, reached down and unlocked the little sliding door with a key he kept hanging around his neck. He knocked twice on the door, before sliding a small plate of food through and locking it up once again. He paused for a brief moment 

Jonah was laying half off the bed and half on, as much as he lengthy legs would let him when he heard the knock. He blinked sleepily looking over at the door. It took him a second and then a double take, before his brain registered that the food was real.

He jumped up and made his way to the door as fast as possible, falling to his knees to grab the plate.  
"Wait!", he yelled knocking on the door in return.  
"Max??" No answer.  
"....Kinga..?" 

Max almost replied, but bit his lip, thinking better than to disobey Kinga. He turned and got out of there before he changed his mind.

Jonah leaned his head against the door and waited out the silence. There was no one. He looked down at the plate, trying to think of the last time he ate something. 

"Well... it sure is... food." he said, looking down at what he had been served. Some plain water, a pile of what looked like pills that he was afraid to go near, and some beef broth in which he could barely make out a chunk or two of real meat. There was also a folded up piece of paper. A note.

"Dearest Jonah,  
Please make sure you're staying healthy and eating your dinner! I have provided you with all the essential nutrients, but not too much as to fatten you up! We wouldn't want that, would we silly? Those little round pills are actually vitamins and you are to take all of them, every day. Remember, no cooperation might leave you feeling a little hungry... See you in the morning!

Your loving Overlord and Queen of All Media,  
Kinga <3" 

He angrily rolled the paper up into a ball and whipped it at one of the monitors in the room. He was so hungry, that he didn't even bother to get up off the floor and ate faster than he probably ever had. He was a little apprehensive when he got to the "vitamins", but he downed those quickly as well.

"I mean... it's not like she'd go through all of this trouble just to poison me, right?  
He laughed a little...  
"Right?"

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	3. The Control Months, PT 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst kicks in, Jonah learns how not so nice they plan on being to him.

Jonah was sleeping almost comfortably, his stomach finally being fed had put him at ease; at least they weren't going to starve him to death. Just keep him. Like a shitty pet.

He woke up with a jolt to the familiar, 

BEEP BEEP BEEP

looking around only to realize it was pitch black. The beeping stopped once he sat up, carefully this time as to not slam his head again, and fumbled for his glasses. There was no monitor, no lights, no more alarm, just dead silence. Something didn't feel right.  
He layed completely still, breathing as quietly as possible, his heart beating out of his chest. He tried to calm himself down, thinking maybe he had just dreampt about the alarm.

"Maybe there's a malfunction and we lost power or something..." he thought to himself. Maybe the doors would be unlocked.  
"Or maybe" he reasoned, again, remembering he was in a tiny satellite above the moon, "I'll lose all of my oxygen."

As far as he could tell, everything was still pressurized, he wasn't floating, and he could still breathe. All good signs. His next instict was to make a dash for the door. Completely forgetting he had stripped off the jumpsuit to sleep in just a t shirt and his underwear, until they hopefully gave him something else to put on, he slowly swung his bare feet over to touch the freezing floor.

He shivered, but decided it was now or never as he leapt up and stumbled his way toward the door. The unlocked door. Although incredibly heavy, he managed to push it open, where he was met with more darkness. Heavy, still, thick darkness. Once more, everything was silent. Was he dreaming all of this? Had something actually gone seriously wrong?

"Where the fuck am I going to go with no pants on..." all rapidly ran through his head. 

Mind already made up, he moved forward at a painfully slow pace. Every step had a sting to it, feeling like he was walking in a freezer. He was pretty sure if he could see, he would be able to see his breath.

Suddenly there was a faint shuffling noise, echoing at one end of the hallway. Jonah honestly couldn't tell which way it came from at first, being totally disoriented in the pitch black. He did everything he could to suppress the urge to say "Hello?" outloud and stood completely still. He heard the sound again and his brain was now going crazy trying go grasp the situation. 

Fortunately, he didn't have to think about it very long as someone grabbed him from behind, jerking both his arms back, and placing a gloved hand over his mouth. The last thought he had before hitting the floor face first was "That smells like.... "chloroformmmmmmmfff".

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Jonah opened his eyes slowly, adjusting to the light. It was bright and stung his eyes, but he wasn't sure if the light itself was unusually bright or if he had evolved to live in darkness now. Once he could open them all the way without watering, he realized everything was still fuzzy and he didn't have his glasses.

"Jonah dearest, what are you doing up this time of night?"

The sound of Kinga's voice was unmistakable, even if he was blind.   
She walked over and put her hand out to him, in which she had his glasses. He took them cautiously, having to adjust to the room once more when he put them on and saw that they were far from alone. Max and what he could only reason were Bonehead 1, 2, and 3 stood around the room, completing the circle. 

The room itself was small, and looked relatively unused. For a moment, he actually wondered if they were having some kind of secret meeting in a closet.

"Oh, Jonah... when will you stop being so clumsly?" she said sweetly as she put a towel up to his lip. 

His immediate response was to pull away, until he realized it felt good and probably wouldn't kill him.

"Looks like you might have busted your lip a little when you fell" she said, making an insincere pouty face.

He licked his bottom lip, only to realize she was right when tasted the metallic hint of his own blood.

"FELL?? What do you mean, fell? You had one of your-- aaaHhhhhh"

He stopped when Bonehead Number whatever, grabbed both his arms, twisting them behind his back and yanking.

"So rude, Heston. You were out in the middle of the night... wandering in the dark... think of what could have happened to you? I helped."

He scoffed, only to have his arm wedged more in the wrong direction.

"Plus", she said with a tone of disgust, "do you think you could cover yourself up? This isn't your crappy little bachelor pad. It's a laboratory."

Fuck. He had completely forgotten he was in his underwear. This of course, was the least of his problems right now. 

"Max would you mind grabbing my little gift to Jonah, please?"

She turned her attention back to him.  
"This, was an obedience test." She smiled. "You failed by the way."

His eyes darted around the room, trying to watch all 5 of them simultaneously. This was officially the most confused he had ever been.

"O-Ok but, I thought the power was out... and I was worried... maybe uh, I was coming to make sure you were ok?"

She laughed; a genuine laugh.  
"Oh you charmer... I can help myself" she said forcefully.

Max handed the object she had asked for over to Bonehead number... seven, he didn't know, avoiding eye contact with Jonah. At first he had absolutely no idea where this one going, until they (he, she, it?), bent down and snapped it on his ankle.

"Yep, well... there's my official hey you're a fucking prisoner trinket" he thought to himself.  
"So... did you... think I was going to get somewhere? You have the keys to my ship. You keep me locked in a room." 

"Oh, I know you're not going anywhere. This isn't to keep you in, it's to keep you out of the places I don't want you. Now why don't you get back to your room.. and... put some pants on or something" she said looking away from him.

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He was transferred back up to the satellite, being escorted by the 3 Boneheads the entire time. Thankfully, the lights were back on.

"So uh.. like what do you guys do around here? Are you experiments?"

They kept silent.

"Weird clones....? Like, you can tell me. I won't judge. Does she make you wear that weird stuff or is that some rad moon fashion I'm missing out on?"

Not another word was spoken until they reached the door, unlocked it. and shoved Jonah inside. He hit the floor, preparing for another bruise, but instead landed in a soft, cushiony pile. A pile of yellow.

"Oh... all my extra jumpsuits" he said dryly. "And some clean underwear, wow thanks guys, you really shouldn't have."

The door slammed shut and the lock clicked.   
"Goodnight! You weirdos..." 

He curled up in the pile for a few minutes, contemplating sleeping right there on the floor. Then it hit him.

"My spare key! he excitedly whispered to himself. He started digging through all the familiar, identical suits, forcefully diving into any pocket he could find.

"It's GOT to be in here somewhere... at least this is a step in the right direction.."

From behind him, he heard the static and clicking on of the monitor.

"Jonaaaaaaaah"

His eyed rolled so hard he thought he might lose them as he turned to face her. He knew... KNEW... it couldn't be that easy. And it wasn't. Kinga sat on screen, jingling his Gizmonics key in front of him. She winked, said no more, and off the monitor went.

He layed back down, closed his eyes, and tried to will himself to sleep. Still freezing, he yanked a jumpsuit out from underneath of him and rolled his way into it. It wasn't the easiest thing to get over the anklet, but he managed. Today was a loss. Tomorrow was a new chance and he might as well be rested for whatever she threw at him. 

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Jonah tossed and turned in his sleep quite a bit that night. He had nestled his way into the pile of clothes, effectively making himself a nest. At some point, he had also acquired socks, yet he kept getting colder and colder. He opened his eyes and squinted at the LED display on the wall, showing it was a whopping 33° F in his room. This was... quite a bit colder than "room temp".

"Oh, s-so we're t-trying to ffffreeze me now..." he said through chattering teeth. He rolled up into a tighter ball and let his mind drift off again. 

The next morning, he woke to the same alarm, threw on shoes, "be upstairs in 10 minutes" he thought to himself... it was already becoming routine. Today, all he was hoping for was that, whatever she did with him, there would be heat involved.

"Jonah you, you look like... a banana split".

"Ughhhh, Tom... I had a bad night. What is that supposed to mean..."

"You look like a big frozen banana with a cherry on top. The cherry being that big, red, shiny nose of yours."

"Yeah, hey Jonah with your nose so bright, won't you guide our satellite?"

He looked into the nearest reflective surface to see that, indeed, his nose was all puffy and red.

"Can I even catch a cold here?" He asked, becoming noticeably more stuffy as he thawed out.

"Please don't spread your icky germs all over the place... this is not what I signed up for."

"Yeah, we don't need all your weird human diseases up here. What if I get the flu? Or Athlete's Foot?"

Jonah was about to remind Tom that he didn't have feet, when the giant, black tube from day one descended upon him.

"Okay, but consider... you don't haaaAAAAAAAHHHHHH" 

Tom and Crow watched him disappear through the tunnel.

"Tough break".

"I hope they don't have to amputate his nose, his face is kinda weird enough already.

Jonah landed hard on the floor of the Moon 13 base. It sent a shockwave of pain through his hips and back, but that became inconsequential when he looked up and saw Kinda standing over him.

"Hello, Heston" she said, practically emotionless as she looked down on him.

Jonah was silent. He tried to make just enough eye contact that nothing bad would happen, but not too much. He'd rather just avoid it altogether.

"You don't have to be afraid of me... although I'm glad you're starting to learn some self-preservation."

"I'm not afraid of anything here" he said sneering. 

"Good. I've got some work for you today. Up you go, we don't do sick days here" she said with a smile.

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End file.
